date: 7/22/08
location: minneapolis
grade: b (group average)/c- (me)

if you stick with the sushi (and order in, as they charge extra if you do take-out, points off for that) and know what to order, you should be fine. they do some interesting and unusual rolls here, some of which are original to this place, which is also original in style (think gay disco meets sushi bar designed with help from target, with dimly lit restrooms that share a sink in the hallway, which does at least solve that pesky problem of knowing about the handwashing skills of the previous occupants....).

three wise guys ("tuna, salmon, yellow tail and smelt roe topped with crunchy tempura flakes" for $12.95), french kiss ("crab, avocado, asparagus and cram cheese topped with cooked shrimp" for $13.50) and their famed sunrise ("seared tuna, grated ginger and shiso wrapped with mango" for $13.95) were all interesting, according to the consumers of said rolls.

i can vouch for the sunrise. there were interesting flavors, large and small in it. though i was not the only person i saw having problems with what is the sushi version of what i call 'sandwich integrity.' the mango slices, so nicely arranged on top, are tres slippery and fall very quickly off the top and it's way less nicely arranged. i also thought it a bit spendy, too. but it was quite large. and i am quite cheap.

(random aside time! since i am a strange and broken person, i use fingers for sushi because the chopsticks, held correctly, fall right on the finger that sets off rsi pain when things rest on it in that fashion. but i did read in morimoto's book that's ok to eat sushi with fingers, so i feel a bit better about that particular lameness of mine. and feel free to insert your own 'but fingers should be eaten separately' joke here.)

if you're more of a sashimi or nigiri person, ask what's the freshest that day, always a good way to go with the sushi. in this case, it was some excellent kumpachi ($6), sockeye ($6), and maguro tuna ($4.95).

if you're a vegetarian, you may wish to stick more with the appetizer menu. the two rolls offered weren't much of a choice, though the avocado roll ($4.25) was tasty. the one vegetarian dinner listed, pad pak ("asian pan-fried seasonal vegetables
served with rice and fried tofu" for $10.75). i believe it was dubbed 'not bad' (to be nice about it. it came with rice with it, but since the plate was full of food, there was no obvious or logical way to mix in the rice into the dish.

oddly, service seemed to vary from person to person. the three people who ordered together had what i thought was better service than the other four of us. especially me.

which brings us to the major disparity in the grades. so why then?

balls, mostly.

i had looked on their online menu, and spied the following... "japanese bagel balls: fresh salmon, cream cheese and green onions, deep-fried tempura style." for $7.50. ok, i thought... have to try those. out of everything on the menu, that was the one thing that i needed to get. a bit spendy for an app, but hey. i'll cope.

ah, bad restaurant karma, why are you so fickle?

they're in the appetizer section of the menu (strangely, online they're in the 'cold' section along with other things that should move over to the 'hot' category, where they are irl. the other appetizer the table ordered, the poke ahi, "cubed tuna marinated in chili oil and herbs, topped with quail egg yolk" for $10.95 was in the hot list. quite good, but not hot...). the poke ahi came out before the rest of the food, as appetizers should, whereas the balls debuted about five minutes after the rest of the food, after being reassured they'd be out in a few minutes a few times.

when the balls finally hit the table (and no, i am not getting sick of the really bad joke), the server put the plate next to my empty glass of water.

and went to refill the water.

and you can see what's going to happen next. relive

yes, they miss.

the water get all over the appetizer, and the table. and some of the floor.

when it became clear that despite my quick restacking, the balls were done for, the server said they'd replace the dish. they didn't bother to wipe up the puddle on the table. or the floor.

so with one paper napkin per person and no other server in sight to procure towelling of any sort, i eventually ended up swiping a few napkins from another table after a few people sacrificed their napkins for the cause.

then it's back to being told they'd be out 'in a minute,' which meant another 5-10 minutes. it's like tech repair time, no?

so finally. they're there, they're dry.

are they worth the wait?

not at all. because they're not as advertised. they're not balls of salmon and cream cheese. they're balls of fried rice, wrapped around with a band of nori, with a wee bit of salmon and cream cheese that somehow combine to taste kind of like thousand island dressing. not the flavors i was looking for. and the green onion appeared to be a.w.o.l.

and i was not at all happy (still am not happy with that, for that matter). but by then i peckish (in both senses of the word), so i ate it anyway.

when we got the bill it was mandatory tip time (we had seven people there). that's a bit of information i don't see on their web site, and a policy that sole food is against.

so my bill over $26 with the mandatory tip. i realize sushi isn't the most filling of food, and the fish is expensive, but i left that place thinking... you know, i really would like a sandwich or something.

and after paying $26 for dinner, that's not a feeling i would like to have. not a feeling i recall having, even in other sushi restaurants. so there's that, too.

maybe i'm just comparing it badly to morimoto.... who knows.